Dear Twilight Fans,
Thank you for making us look sane and well-adjusted.
Sincerely, Trekkies.
Dear Buffy,
We have a new assignment for you. His name is Edward.
Sincerely, K.
Dear Nickelback,
That's enough.
Sincerely, The World.
Dear Mom,
I'm 16 now, can I PLEASE get a bra?
Sincerely, your son, Justin B.
Dear Facebook friends from high school,
I enjoy keeping tabs on how fat and unsuccessful you've become. Keep the misguided status updates and wholly unflattering photo albums coming.
Sincerely, Tina.
Dear Stephenie Meyer,
I'm sorry your fans are so obnoxious. Try using less glitter.
Sincerely, J.K. Rowling.
Dear Math,
Please grow up and solve your own damn problems. I don't have time for yours AND mine.
Sincerely, Screw the Value of X.
Dear Soccer Fans,
B B B B B B Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z Z!
Sincerely, Vuvuzelas.
Dear person reading this,
You're here because you're actively procrastinating or avoiding real work, aren't you? It's OK...me too.
Sincerely, I'll work tomorrow.
Dear credit card,
Please stop being so easy to use. You are the sluttiest thing in my wallet.
Sincerely, Ms. F.
Dear Cows,
Please continue to be tasty.
Sincerely, Chickens.
Dear Camwhores of the Internet,
Please stop making that ridiculous-looking kissyface thing with your lips in every picture you post on Facebook.
Sincerely, The rest of the Internet.
Dear Edward Cullen,
Avada Kedavra!
Sincerely, Tom Riddle.
Dear microwave,
Why is my plate so hot and my food so cold?
Sincerely, Hans.
Dear Hipsters I work with,
Please stop with the skinny jeans. You look like really ugly girls.
Sincerely, No One Wants to See Your Balls.
